


Quiet.

by dumbasshoe



Series: KiteGon collection [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Guilt, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Oral Sex, PWP, Secret Affair, kaigon, kite is emotionally constipated lmao, kitegon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 19:33:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14960804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbasshoe/pseuds/dumbasshoe
Summary: “Quiet,” Kite reminds, scowling, wiping hairs away from Gon's damp forehead. “Quieter, Gon.”The boy nods like he's heat-stricken and his tongue slips out of his mouth, drool spilling onto Kite's cock. His mouth closes around him again and Kite's jaw falls open in a deep sigh."Good boy," he gulps.Gon is an eager lover. Kite's just trying to keep things together.[*Fanart link in end notes!]





	1. Tent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [*edit: im not proud of this at all, wrote it too quick lol. but ill still finish it]
> 
> lets pretend chimera arc didnt happen and the trio been travellin for a while in peace, everybody have they limbs lmao
> 
> Enjoy. ♡

 

 

 

 

 

He's still pretty uncertain of its origin, this affair. Of the exact moment every little touch or look was given more than its right amount of meaning. Innocent, and then it wasn't.

It's odd, Kite can't recall _when_ it started to change, on Gon's end. Before they all began travelling together? During? Unclear. Can’t even pinpoint when he noticed his own emotions greying, tinting something red and infatuated for the happy boy.

And maybe that’s why he's in so deep, now.

Possibly he'd had a hand in encouraging it. Chasing the boys as a part of training and feeling it become fun, humoring Gon's every request and question about anything he could learn, absorb, imprint; simply along with the boys, when they played their games. Once or twice nudging Gon, tickling him, when he saw through a display of naivete for what it was really, something coquettish or elfin. Kite assumed the latter. Because in all of his disciplining or educating or praising him, patting his head, telling him, _‘good boy’---_ Kite never figured it might have been out of line. Never realized the weight or volume of his own laughs and enjoyment, in these moments.

Truly, Gon had a way of bringing him out of his mind, into the heat of a moment, like his flawed, faunish optimism was something tangible. Breatheable.

Kite could say now, ‘I had it under control,’ or even, ‘I never stood a chance,’ but both would be incorrect---

He can't disown to his shortcomings, or disadvantages, in this regard: That for every instance Gon would presume to sit a bit too close to him by the fire, just to brush knees, or coyly sling his naked, dirtied feet into Kite’s clothed lap after Killua had fallen asleep, wiggle his toes, curl and fidget his bare legs and proceed to talk, tell his stories like nothing was the matter--- Kite, he did _try_ to stop it.

Pushing Gon off and heading to bed, but not before giving small, slightly vexed lectures about impropriety, how he should be careful how he acts with people. But Gon would reply, simply, _‘I wouldn't act like that with other people,’_ making full, frightening eye-contact.

So he stopped, eventually. Let Gon behave like the daunting teenager he was, all the while blind to himself. Sometimes Kite would distance when Gon would try brushing hands as they walked and travelled. Sometimes Gon leant against him when they were alone, and it embarrassed Kite, which in turn unnerved him and chased him away, like a large white feline avoiding the overwhelming puppy. But at that Gon would simply follow, one-up by getting even closer. A surprise piggy-back, the sudden request to be held, hold hands, touch his hair.

Be as close as he could.

And one night, the boy joined him in his tent. It was after Killua had fallen asleep. Like this, Gon would play with locks of Kite’s white hair while his cap was off, the silver a muted glow by darkness and moonlight. He'd gaze longingly at Kite's big, knuckley hands where they rested on his pillow. He was caught, every time.

Initially it was scary, but a bit charming, and he could fall asleep feeling something new, close. It became a nightly occurrence. 

Til one night Gon began inching Kite's blanket covers down, slowly, silently. The sound of his breathing disarmed the man, so even, hitched when Kite's thin body came into view, pajamas or domestic long-sleeve, it didn't matter. Gon would stare, like he'd just learned every secret to nen and it was written in Kite's clavicles, his long neck, his white lashes.

Though his eyes were shut, Kite felt fingers pick fibers off his nightshirt. A smaller warmth leaning into his body and trailing knuckles over any exposed part of him; and Kite _never_ said a word.

He should've.

Kite would remain there, stunned or uneasy, appearing asleep, and wait out Gon's curious hands. That is, until he merely kept his eyes closed out of habit, mutual curiosity. Eventually it was his indulgence, too; the soft, ticklish comfort of gentle intimacy, no requirement to acknowledge it. In the span of a week he'd become attached. He'd never had this. Kite felt bad for looking forward to the soft touches at night, but they conquered his nights of insomnia. Made him feel safe. Which was in and of itself ironic, but Kite knew that. 

He has yet to ask if Gon was aware of him being awake those times, and boldly acted despite the consequences. Did Gon ever consider the possibility he could've woken up and rejected him?

Or worse yet; Could he have?

On the surface it was reasonable to mark Gon's behavior as only strange, yes, but no more than the idolization of a figure, he’d thought! The boy had, on many occasions, lavished his mentor with praise, and then affection. Always to Kite’s discontent.

Why? He couldn't say. He was Ging's son, that was part of it.

The way Kite grew to avert eyes and stiffen when Gon would say, _‘You're so cool, Kite!’,_ or tell the man _‘I love you, I'm glad we're all here together!’_ with all the juvenile sincerity the boy could display in a smile---it gave awful light to Kite’s unfamiliarity with intimacy, in any form. Not to mention the blush he would try so hard to repress, every time something too loving eeped from Gon's eager mouth. By this alone, Kite felt himself melting.

He never stopped it. Not when Killua started asking questions, not when Gon would make excuses for them both, only to later join Kite's tent, in the middle of the night. The soft snores coming from Killua's tent always left him both on edge and feeling safe. Something he could shamefully call both threat and security, when Gon's affections became sweltering.

One night, the three of them had gone swimming in a nearby lake after a day of searching for a rare bird. They'd returned to camp exhausted, collectively joyous and generally at-peace.

Gon joined his tent, as Kite had been epecting. But when he laid down right beside him, he snaked an arm over his broad chest. Scooted close. Touched. Gon breathed in Kite's hair.

He was calm on the outside, but really, Kite was positively flustered. Taken aback by the boy's nonchalant attempt to solidify something neither had ever spoken of. It would have to be out in the open now; acknowledged.

Kite whispered to the tent's wall, _‘You shouldn't do this.’_  

Gon hadn't answered. His hand only played small shapes into Kite’s abdomen. They both slept that night.

As stubborn and forthright as he is, Kite’s plain failure to set boundaries in all this stemmed from the awful fact that, he too, cared for Gon, and moreover, wanted something closer, something he'd never experienced. Something he would never have experienced, if not for this clueless, dangerous teenager sparking his lust, his desire for intimacy... 

And it's always these searching thoughts (the bad, guilty, reminiscing sort), that tend to plague his mind; especially at times like now.

Because right now, Gon is half-naked between his legs.

Kite leans up from his pillow, breathing strained to watch: He's eating him alive--kissing and licking and sucking with noisy enthusiasm only Gon can give as a lover. And seeing the boy staring up at him with the world in his blown pupils, lips tight around his slick member, it kills Kite ever so softly.

“ _God,_ ” Kite groans, _quietly_ , closing his eyes. His head throws back, panting, a hand finding one of Gon's to hold and his other planting in the boy's scalp. “Keep going..." His voice breaks toward the end and Gon rubs his legs together.

The boy moans and swallows around him in his mouth, hollows his cheeks as he comes up for air with a wet gasp. He's an absolute mess.

His hand doesn't stop stroking as he whines, “Kaito,” red-faced and eyes half-lidded.

Kite bites his lip. “Quiet,” he whispers shakily, scowling, wiping hairs away from Gon's damp forehead, “quieter, Gon.”

The boy nods like he's heat-stricken and his tongue slips out of his mouth, drool spilling onto Kite's cock. Gon's mouth closes around him again and Kite's jaw falls open in a deep sigh.

"Good boy," he gulps.

It's too big, too long, but Gon does his best. It always warms Kite's heart in a wrong way to see him so earnestly trying to touch base, deep-throat him despite their size-difference, but he always chokes before he can and slides back up. _‘New strategy,’_ Gon probably thinks, tonguing the tip, looking up at him. Arguably this is more intense because Kite seethes and grips harsh at Gon's hair, sobbing into the back of his hand.

Gon smiles at the sound. Kisses the pink head of his dick, and he looks too sweet while he does it.

It goes on like this for minutes on end, but only minutes, because Kite's ability to somehow last so long is no match for Gon's sloppy tongue and endless stamina. The teen always gets more determined when Kite begins to twitch in his mouth, his hands start roving his lover's body, everywhere he can reach, and multiplying his efforts to bob his head, suck the life out of him. He knows Kite is sensitive up by his waist. Kite writhes, keening in his throat.

He jumps up then, quick, shuddering, “ _Stop_ , stop now,” knowing Gon won't. He would feel just that much better if the 15 year old didn't swallow.

But he cums in Gon's mouth, as he has before, moans and complaints cut off as he sucks on the four fingers Gon shoved into his mouth to silence him. Eyes focus and unfocus on his elfin pupil, unceasing mouth, and Kite sighs lovely as he rides his orgasm.

Fingers slip out of his mouth, trailing spittle. Kite, breathing hard, dies a little when he looks up to see Gon spill a bit of his full mouth of semen onto Kite's thin stomach, let it pool into his belly button, just for him lap it all back up. Then he kisses his cock goodnight, brings the covers up over his hips. Looks up at Kite.

He's in love.

The son of nature, shirtless and tan and small against Kite’s half-nude figure climbs up his body for a proper straddle, sits up. The full weight of his wide-eyed, honest, youthful gaze makes Kite want to push him off and roll onto his side to sleep. As he has before.

Kisses and touching are their track record, but blowjobs are new. It’s only been two weeks. Kite is still reluctant as hell, every night he tries to try something, but Gon is becoming more confident, especially when Kite shakes and turns onto his back, falters and falls apart at his hands. This tent is the only place he'll ever let Gon do this, made a point of telling him so.

It all gets too heavy to bear when he can see beyond the tent again. Daylight, teaching the boys, looking Killua in the eye. He surmises Killua probably isn't aware yet.

Kite’s wiping a hand across his weepy, tired eyes, trying not to look at Gon's erection through those little green shorts. He neglected to wear underwear again, Kite can tell.

He's only touched him a few times. In a way this is punishment or pride, for Gon's ridiculous success in seducing him. Maybe it's fear.

With a pointed look away, he's ready to push him off. ‘Time for bed now, Gon,’ he’ll say, but---

“Can we do more?” Gon asks in hushed tone. Lips wet and puffy, he's panting still. Endless, demanding, naïve where he sits atop Kite.

Kite looks up at him. He gives a broken sigh.

The only sounds are crickets chirping, the tent’s material ruffling in the wind. They're both always listening for Killua's tent, but it's still so quiet, and Kite's not sure whether that’s still good, because there's no escaping Gon's cherub gaze when he wants something.

But he still answers, “No.” Low-voiced, gruff.

They look at each other. Steely, serious. Kite glowers. “I said _no,_ Gon.”

The boy leans down and forward, arms by Kite's head. He's almost pouting, and Kite's gut pulses.

“Why?”

Kite loses his energy, head falling back onto the pillow.

“Why indeed..." he scoffs, grim. Hands come up to rub the shame off his face. "What have I done...”

Kite whispers it so quietly, he has to wonder if Gon heard him.

Long, quiet moments pass. Gon eventually lays down, rests his head on solid chest. One of Kite’s pale hands come up to rest and dance at Gon's lower back.

“This is wrong.”

Gon touches his face. “But it isn't. It feels good! I love being with you like this---”

“You're not listening,” he growls.

The man stares through the skylight-mesh of their tent, up at the stars. “I'm stopping this. I have to. No more---”

And Gon is sitting up, worried, hurt, “No, no, wait Kaito.”

Weak as he is. “What, Gon?”

He kisses him. Kite’s stoic eyes glaze and flutter shut at Gon's lips. Stifling kiss. Gon and the crickets and this tent, that's all there is.

The boy moves away, taking his lips with him and sits up, like he's won a battle.

“See?” he whispers, smiling. Like he knows every thought Kite has. His eyes darken and his hand splays across Kite's chest, crawls up to his long neck, and the man swallows. His Adam's apple bobs against Gon's gentle fingers, still moist with his own saliva.

“Nobody knows,” Gon adds, proving he _is_ conscious of society, reputation and the taboo of this ordeal.

Kite blinks twice, “Regardless, this has come too far.” His voice lowers soft and remorseful, “I should've been stronger about refuting you.”

“Kaiitoo,” Gon whines, still convinced he's winning, “You always do this.”

Kite frowns. “Do what.”

“Right after you finish, you get scared.”

Scared. Kite grabs Gon by his hips, shifting him off easily. He rolls onto his side, unable to find the words he needs to properly take control of this quiet, chaotic situation. Gon does that to him. Makes his mind runny, makes him impulsive, more stubborn.

“Go to sleep,” he huffs into his pillow.

He lays there with his eyes closed. Minutes pass before Gon finally shifts to lay down, close behind him. It's the kid's fault Kite has to wake up terribly early each morning, before Killua gets up. It's also thanks to Gon that Kite sleeps. Late nights, early mornings, sweet, soft, uninterrupted dreams.

A warm kiss on his neck from behind, “I love you, Kaito.”

Scared.

Gon can't see his eyes water or his guilt spilll over, when they lay like this. One day he'll accept this affair with the sun still out. For now, though, he grabs for the hand Gon has anchored on his bony hip. Like he's holding him in the dark of the tent, like he's all Gon has.

“Goodnight.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! this is, my dearest rarepair, probably. please leave a kudos or review if youre enjoying, i love any feedback!♡  
> follow me on [my tumblr](https://sadmobu.tumblr.com/) if you want! i post my art and various other kitegon related stuff there :>


	2. let's go home

 

 

 

 

 

Once in every while, Kite breaks tethers with the boys for the short span of an afternoon to do some solo exploring. It's become a more regular thing recently, though. And so the boys have started to imitate the unspoken ‘me-time’ notion, and too wander off to bicker and race and talk over each other about nothings and everythings while exploring nature.

Today is no different from every other day. Except that, Gon is uneasy. He’s ignorant as to why. Maybe he didn't like the sight of Kite's shrinking back after a farewell without eye-contact. Or the way Killua let out too many days’ worth of breath he'd been holding once Kite was out of earshot.

Today's adventuring was too impassionate. Not many words, too many noticings of the weather and the trees, unnecessary.

He and Killua haven't really spoken in a bit, and Gon is, once more, ignorant as to why. Once it's past dusk and the air is cool, Gon proposes star-gazing over packed dinner. Killua is the one to point out the cliff’s edge through the brush of trees, and they get comfortable, eat, lay down. Silence, crickets.

“...I miss home.”

It's the first real thing Gon has said in hours.

And as soon as it’s said, the cliff they’ve chosen to rest upon suddenly feels like another cliff, from a lifetime ago, when their friendship was only blooming and they were both so much younger. Two years feels more like ten.

Rubbing an eye with the heel of his palm, Killua replies, “I miss it too.”

He adjusts the pack beneath his head before laying arms at his sides, stilling peacefully. The rocky dirt is uncomfortable, but patches of grass make it tolerable.

“Your home?” Gon asks.

“No,” Killua shakes his head, then interrupts himself, “well yeah, sometimes… but no, I mean I miss Whale Island too.”

Gon hums.

“It's rain season there right now. We get good storms. Makes fishing hard, but the days aren't so hot when it's not overcast, and we have more business at the bar.” Gon wiggles his bare toes as he talks, muddied boots off to the side. Killua stares at him. “Rainy season is when grandma and Mito bake, since it doesn't heat up the house. Heh. Less chores, too…”

“How come you haven't gone back?”

“What?” Gon looks at him. “Oh, I don't know, we were always busy before, I guess.”

“Now we aren't,” Killua offers.

“Yeah…” He returns gaze to the stars. “Now we aren't.”

Picking dirt out of his nails, Killua proposes, “What if we went to Whale Island for a bit? Take a break from training, see your aunt.”

Gon doesn't respond immediately. After a moment, he mutters a noncommittal “yeah”

“But,” he then starts, “Kaito might---”

“ _Dude_ , Kite’s jobs will never run out as long as he's a Hunter, you know that right?”

Gon frowns. “I'm still worried.”

“He's not---"

Killua stops himself. _‘He's not Ging,’_ he can't say that.

So Killua scoots closer, leans on his elbow to face Gon, “I get that you guys are close, but Gon, the guy _loves_ you. If you wanted to visit your aunt and come back to train later, he would totally make time for it.”

He looks at Killua, unreadable. “You think so?”

“Think what?”

“You think he loves us?”

He pauses. “I mean, yeah, I think so. All he does is work by himself, or with animals, and we're like, two of the few people he's really close to. He wouldn't take such an interest in scolding us every day if he didn't care. Well, scolding you,” Killua corrects.

Gon smiles.

“And he likes getting told he's cool,” Killua continues with a smirk, “you're probably the only one who ever tells him that.” The two of them chuckle at that.

Gon’s brows crease in thought. A minute passes with that face, then he looks back to his friend.

“Hey Killua. Do you even still want to train?”

Killua's face falls. “Y--yeah, of course.” Gon's stare is unfaltering. “Why do you ask that all of a sudden?”

He shrugs, or best he can shrug lying down, “Dunno. I wondered if maybe you were only still travelling with us because of me.”

Killua opens his mouth, closes it. Opens, “That’s bogus.”

“Is it?”

“I’m here ‘cause I wanna be. This is the best I’ve ever lived.”

Gon looks at him with too much skepticism and Killua huffs a laugh, “Well---Not exactly exciting, like Heaven's or Greed Island, hah.” Gon cracks into a grin at that. “But I've never been happier,” Killua admits.

Gon nods, “Just making sure.” Smiling big.

Killua swallows.

“I'm with you till the end, Gon.

“I just...feel like a break.” He scrunches his nose, grins. “A haircut, junkfood, and a break.”

Gon hums agreement, turns his gaze down between them in the grass somewhere to stare idly.

“It really does sound nice.”

 

 

* * *

 

“How does it feel?”

Gon can't bother to answer, biting his lip in a pleasured grimace to keep silent.

“Can't talk?”

The hand palming him through his shorts pauses, Gon's body bending back to the floor and blankets.

Gon breathes, “Kai--- _hah_ ” and as quick as he stopped, Kite continues, tighter, hotter.

“You're enjoying yourself.”

That comment earns him a bleary glare, and Kite wants to smirk. His own blush extends to his ears, his chest where his loose nightshirt exposes. Eyes are hooded like he's in a trance as he holds Gon down by his wrists with one hand. At Gon’s lack of verbal response he grips the outline of his dick and leans down to nudge it with the bridge of his nose, his lips. Gon actually makes a noise, then.

He swallows but his throat is dry, so when Kite whispers, “Quiet,” it comes out chopped, without conviction.

“Take them off,” Gon pleads, fingers curling around his lover’s rosy, pale ones.

Kite’s lips part. Brows furrow, he debates. Then he nods, too quick, and stops touching Gon.

“No noise,” Kite says, serious.

Gon takes it as a threat. _‘Make a sound and we're finished here,’_ that's what he means. So the boy nods back.

Clearing his thick throat, he releases Gon's wrists. Instead of going for the buttons on Gon’s shorts---which Gon washed today, Kite notices, albeit pointlessly---Kite’s uncertain hands trail down. Through his thick hair, across his face. Gon blinks bleary as Kite's fingers ghost their way down his eyelids. Cheeks. Bump over his puffy lips.

Kite is awestruck.

He rubs thumbs into Gon's thin neck, eyes him odd, but endearing, like the boy is dangerous or invaluable. Then Kite’s leaning down to kiss him--- _softly_.

It’s such a throw, and Gon gives himself to the kiss. More than a little taken at the slowness of it all; of his mentor’s sudden tenderness, his reciprocation.

Kite pulls back from the chaste smooch just to grip Gon's waist, rough, and dive back in, starved. His eyes are dark. His voice is lower than Gon's ever heard when he breaks off again, touches foreheads and breathes against the boy's open mouth, “ _Gon_.” So much  _lust_ in his tired eyes.

As he's kissed and ground into the tent’s floor, Gon realizes with big eyes that this is the first time Kite has kissed _him_. So Gon kisses back, fervor at its peak. Wishing he could moan aloud into his mouth when they break apart, silenced by his lips again. Gon is oh-so hyper when he’s horny. His curious tongue slips into Kite's mouth, whose eyes fly open, and Gon smiles with his own.

His waist is bruising, his dick is throbbing painful as the two grind into one another, unable to find rhythm but still losing their minds, their volume---

Gon turns face, pulls away from the kiss and Kite almost follows; “ _Shit!_ \--” he gasps high, hips bucking up---

Firm hand grips his jaw. Stills him. His hips still too, that's how much Kite has him.

Solid, licking his lips: “ _Uh-uh_.”

Gon twitches fiercely, shuddering. Kite's eyes would be stern if not for the glaze, the blushing. So maybe he'll curse again, if only to receive that look.

Kite draws back, sitting on his heels. He tucks back strands of hair that’ve loosened from his night braid behind his ear, and briefly Gon panics, thinks he's messed it all up, getting caught in the moment like that.

But then the button on his shorts pops open. Kite pulls down the zipper, out of sight, out of their intense eye-contact. Gon bites his puffy, cut lip.

“Is this what you want?” Kite asks, gently. Always so serious. But now there’s uncertainty in his expression, something foreign to Gon's eye; and yet where his eyes tell inhibition, his skin burns hot where his hands are splayed in Gon's crotch. Kite is only a man. This is just an activity.

Gon says immediately; “Yes.”

The conversation he’d had with Killua earlier that evening comes to mind then, and his heart aches. Hurts odd, like he's losing all of Kite somehow if he loses these nights they share. Vaguely he compares his mentor to his lost father.

Young and insecure and ignorant to his own emotions, he can't stop himself asking, “Do _you_ want this?”

It sounds maybe more brittle than he expected it to. Like the tone he’d take as a kid after being caught doing something wrong. Kite’s lips press thin. It's quiet.

The two of them stare at one another, close, uncertain, toppled over each other like they fell straight into the tent this way. Look, study, staring at each other. No answer.

And Gon almost cries out when Kite reaches down to touch him. A big hand snakes over his mouth before he can make a sound--- it's only a couple wet strokes, off-beat and inexperienced down where he can't see in the dim moonlight, but Gon is already shaking.

“You expected me to say ‘no’?”

Kite shudders forward when Gon wraps strong little legs around his thin waist.

The boy moans muffled into his hand, damping with the heat of his breath. Stroking, Kite looks down where his hand is. Surprised, almost. Like, oh, yes, this is real. You're real.

Gon taps Kite's wrist, who looks up at him before releasing his face.

“You licked my palm, didn't you,” he husks, pulling back to wipe the wet off on Gon’s shorts.

But the boy grabs back his retreating hand, watches Kite raise a hairless brow before pulling it down to his waiting mouth. He stares.

“ _More,_ ” Gon rasps quietly, licking around a finger. Teeth grazing, pulling another one in. Deeper. Sucking like he were the physical definition of lust, ruin.

 _‘More than just this,’_ that's what he didn't say.

And Kite _stares._ Watches, listens to the sound of lips and tongue and little mewls, saliva, wet, warm, Gon’s soft mouth. _Oh_.

Kite can almost feel it. The tented front of his pants is wet with precum. Kite's head drops to Gon's clothed chest, he inhales, shaky, impassioned. “It’s not a good idea…”

Gon sucks harder, this is his argument. The tingle in his fingers and fire in his groin cause Kite to withdraw, however reluctantly, and return to jerking Gon before he loses his head. The confident little thing chokes back a groan, and Kite smiles. Slow, tight, fisting his cock beneath the hem of his shorts.

Breathing fast Gon’s head throws back, his spine is lightning, shaking like there's no air--- hands everywhere, pulling at Kite’s shirt, gripping at the pillow until Kite collects and plants them back above his head, severely restrained when he uses full-strength.

He cums hard and shocking during a kiss, gripping Kite’s restraining hand. Eyes wide open. His hips chasing wildly after nothing, everything, every little graze and touch his mentor gives, and it's not enough.

The kiss turns from harsh to languid, to one-sided, and at last Kite reels back, peeling Gon's hand open to reclaim his fingers. His palm is wet, numbed from jerking Gon.

And he doesn't know what to say. Or do. He's never made him come before. Somehow he feels filthier than previous nights, or a little more in trouble, like the voice in his mind that keeps track of his sins is calling him out when his gaze lingers on his pupil for too long.

Eyes on his sweat-glistening face, his exposed neck, one dark nipple peeking from disheveled tanktop, bit of paler skin where his shorts have pulled down. Gon is utterly slack and dazed, with no expression, nothing like the excited boy that jumps him with a grin every night.

Kite almost thinks he's hurt him in some way. He's never seen Gon like this. He takes the boy's face in his hands to meet his eyes, find his assurance---

But even his eyes are distant. 

“Hey.”

Not enough.

"Gon."

He blinks at his name. When tears bubble and spill over wet lashes, Kite becomes worried.

“Gon? What is it?”

Unnaturally still. Frozen. Kite holds him by the shoulders, pulls him up onto the pillow he'd slid down from. “Oi, talk to me.”

Oh. Oh no.

He's done it. Kite is so sorry. He's afraid. Greedy, evil, holding his breath, what has he done, Gon---

The boy moves, shaking his head and wiping his eyes. Lip is wobbly when he croaks, “Sorry, Kaito. I'm alright.” He smiles despite his wet eyes. “It felt amazing. Thank you.” His arms wrap around Kite’s neck in a hug, pulling him down, and as it happens, the man feels an immeasurable insecurity take hold of him.

“Tell me why you're crying.” He says it into the warmth of Gon’s neck.

The boy nuzzles his head.

“Killua and I are leaving for Whale Island tomorrow.”

Kite ignores the surge of weight that births in his chest, lifts up some to meet his eye. “You're going home?”

It's forever until Gon shakes his head again, “We're just visiting.”

“Why are you upset?”

Gon pauses---he tries to hold it, really he does, but he still hiccups a sob, tears return and Kite's heart drops to his stomach, swells up into his throat all at once.

It doesn't take him long to figure it out. So he doesn't ask Gon to elaborate, despite his little wet failed attempts. Kite's brows furrow and his skin bristles. He's _nervous_.

“...You must think so little of me.”

Gon's eyes widen. He makes to start denying it, but Kite sighs--- “Gon, you… How fickle do you think me?”

At no response he takes his round face into his hands, kisses him harsh. Both their eyes stay open. Kite wishes merely this could be enough to set everything right in this storm of a situation, as though he could expel every doubt with his lips. But even he can't predict their outcome. He doesn't know where this will go, or if Gon will still want this when it's not wrong to want. Or if that will ever be the case.

Yet still he pulls back, admitting, “Realize you're more than just a pupil.”

Gon stares at him, lips parted. The world, the stars are in his blooming eyes.

“Kaito.”

He's petting away wet streaks from Gon's cheeks. “Hm?”

“Come with us.”

“Where?”

Gon places a hand over the one on his cheek. “Home. Come and see Whale Island.”

Kite looks at him.

“It'd be nice,” Gon goes on, “there's so much to see. You were there once, but I bet you didn't see the swamp. And it's wet season now, so everything is blooming.”

Kite sighs.

“And if you don't want me to I promise I won't try anything!”

He half-smiles. Thumbs Gon's cheek, kisses his nose.

“Yeah, I'll come.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're enjoying please leave a kudos or maybe a comment!!♡♡ i love hearing Your thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> Still not proud of this, but ill still add to it soon :p
> 
> (* if you ship kitegon please alert me of your presence i will love you eternally)
> 
> (*10.18.18): Please go and look at [these gorgeous arts](https://sadmobu.tumblr.com/post/179197179822/if-you-havent-read-quiet-by-dumbasshoe-on-ao3) reinajanai on tumblr drew for this fic!!♡♡


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